On The Way
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We’re weeks away from Lent. It is kind of hard to believe, since I *just* packed up the Christmas decorations. And yet, February 10 is Ash Wednesday this year. It’s coming fast.
I don’t feel ready. Nope, not at all. If I could run kicking and screaming from Lent, I probably would. Although, my soul might be doing that. So mature, you know. I’m 35, and have the soul of a toddler. I make these grand promises to myself that I’m going to get up early, have some quiet time to read and sit with the Word, and maybe even journal–daily!–and then I whine when the alarm goes off. I moan and hit “snooze” and go back to sleep. Then I grumble about my day when I didn’t get time to fill my soul with peace from being still and prayerful. Then I kick myself for being so inconsistent and shallow about prayer.
Yup. I have a soul that acts like a toddler. Although, if we’re supposed to be childlike, perhaps my soul is just flat out childish. In any case, I need some work. Maybe it is a good thing that Lent is right around the corner. It always feels like an intentional time to work on my soul, what with all the fasting and praying the Church encourages us to do.
But I don’t wanna. I want to enjoy my “out” from fasting, yet again. I think only one year in my married adult life have I not been pregnant or nursing. Oh, but fasting from something which is not food is actually harder. Well played, God, well played. You know I could use a better, harder fast than food. You know just what my soul needs. It’s to be with you, to die to myself, to leave behind habits which are basically worthless. Checking social media waaaaay too many times a day? I admit it. Grumbling when it’s time to prep dinner and I’m just so darn tired? You got me. Wasting time meandering the house instead of just getting that one rotten chore done? That’d be me.
I have no idea what my “fast” will be this Lent. It’s still weeks away, remember? I have time to plan. And even if I don’t get a good idea, I’ll work on it. It’s a journey, after all…a journey through the six weeks of Lent, and beyond. Each day of this life is a journey to the final destination. Fasting helps, and the Church is so wise to encourage her children, us, to fast throughout the year, particularly during Lent. It leaves room for God to work. So does prayer. Prayer and fasting are so complimentary! This year I’m going to *try* to journal through my prayer and Lent again. I’m a life-long off-and-on journaler, so chances are high that many days I won’t actually put pen to paper. I do know that when I can put words on paper, my time is fruitful.
I guess I just made a bit of a plan for Lent. Heh. Join me? Blessed Is She again has a beautiful journal offering, as well as Stations of the Cross cards to help deepen the experience and journey through Lent. Even if you don’t do the BIS journal, try writing just a few things down in your prayer time. Or maybe make it a family prayer book, with names of family and friends who need prayers. I’ve started one, and even thought we don’t (yet) read the names aloud, I feel like they are more specifically carried in our hearts with their names written in a prayer book kept at our prayer table.
It is a journey, right? So any steps taken are in the right direction. Funny–now that I’ve plowed through this, I’m starting to look forward to Lent this year.
**Ladies! And gents, if you are thinking of buying for your wife or mom or daughter or girlfriend or… These journals are selling quickly! They’ve sold out in the past for other seasons, so ACT FAST if you want one.**
I still dread Lent…I’m not sure why when everyone else seems to get excited about it. And, last year I had such a wonderful time during Lent. I need to remember that. One thing that helped was when a priest told me it was okay to think about the other side of Lent. “We are an Easter people” he said and it was okay for me to look ahead.
You have a lovely family.
Thank you!
What a good insight from your priest…I like it. Without the Resurrection, what would Lent be for? Thanks for sharing that!