Women Encouraging Women: Battling the Beast Called Pride
I’m so delighted to share this piece with you, written by Becky Carter. She’s been an encourager to me from afar, a woman I can relate to and admire for her perspective and wisdom and honesty. What she’s chosen to share is raw, personal, and certainly a struggle I share. Even if you don’t relate to the battle with pride, the Bible verses she’s shared are beautifully poignant about encouraging others.
#WomenEncouragingWomen
By Becky Carter
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned”. -Romans 12:3
I am prideful. The longer I go to confession and spiritual direction, the more I am faced with the stinging realization of my sinfulness. As goes the onion analogy, it can be tearful to pull away the layers of my own crooked heart. These layers expose all the more pride but I also am graced with the movement of repentance. My spiritual director says this is a good thing and a sign of sanctification. The good news is that I am not always in that nasty place. In fact, encouragement is one of my charisms. Shoot, I am the co-host of a podcast whose tagline is “we are women encouraging women”, has episodes bearing the same name, and even uses the hashtag #womenencouragingwomen on social media. Yet, even as I devote so much of my time to the virtue of encouragement, because of my pride, I can still struggle to elevate others. I am willing to bet we all battle this one a bit from time to time.
Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; 10 love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.” -Romans 12:9-10
When others succeed at something that I’ve been failing to do, it sometimes moves my heart–though not always with a charity that would make our Heavenly Father proud. Rather, I can be riddled with jealousy, envy, withdrawal, and negative self-talk. Yet, when I am encouraging others in both their journey and their successes it brings me a great holy joy and an abundant amount of energy. Most importantly the one being encouraged is filled with Christ’s love. These are obvious fruits of the Spirit, not my human effort.
I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” -Romans 7:15
The both/and dichotomy in my heart is evidence that my journey of sanctification is not yet finished. Even Jesus was crestfallen to find his best friends, the ones who had seen him transfigured on the mount, asleep in the garden. The men who saw Jesus in all his beatific glory, walked with him, talked with him, ate with him, journeyed with him, saw his miracles, and were even ordained by him were still weak in flesh despite their willing spirits.
In his epistle to the Romans, St. Paul infamously laments the battle of the flesh and spirit. He was downtrodden by all the things he wanted to do but could not do. I can relate to Paul when he continues by expressing his frustration as he keeps doing all the things he does not want to do. This spiritual tension is a reality for all of us and can also be present in our female relationships both online and face to face. Oh dear, sin is an ugly beast and the deceiver loves to see us enticed by all the vices that lead us to the birth of death – sin. These are the sins that separate us and keep us from the abundant joy produced by these types of uplifting relationships.
And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” -Hebrews 10:24-25
What we do know, sister, is that the written word of God is full of exhortation to love, encourage, and build each other up. It is not always easy and sometimes requires correction. True and authentic joy in our femininity come to its fullness when we both celebrate the realized hopes of others and also go into the depths of despair with the brokenhearted. If we could all commit to living out these biblical callings, we would be both blessed and consoled. Our communities and ministries could become stronger, perhaps some of our loneliness would be lifted, and the body of Christ could experience a powerful healing. Then, being filled and animated by the spirit of Christ, that love overflows all the more onto those around us.
Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. -1 John 4:7”
Pride can get the best of us and has been said to be the root of all sin. I absolutely hate the way pride feels, how it separates us from one another, and I crave the liberation of humility. I want to walk in the delight of willing the good of another over myself, for this is where the joy of the Lord can be found. Women encouraging women is the next viral movement our world needs. Might you join us?
Becky Carter and her tall, dashing husband are raising their five children in Northwest Arkansas. Becky is a revert, freelance writer, and podcaster who is passionate about Jesus, Scripture, and hosting a good party. Life with the Carter Clan isn’t always easy, but it’s always a blessing. She is pursuing joy in the trenches of motherhood.
